What happens when the abused child is no longer a child?
And the family secrets are still secrets?
How can we have statistics when more than half of abused children grow up and remain silent?
I never had a drug problem, though statistics said I would.
I never had an alcoholic addiction, though statistics assumed I would.
I never had a mental illness, suicidal thoughts, or self harm, though statistics claimed that was the life headed for me.
I cringe at the word ‘Statistic’ when in reality I was a functioning member of society even though I was a trophy in a child predators sick world for six years of my childhood.
Child sexual abuse is a horrifying crime committed on children everyday and the least discussed. “When the pity is easier to look at than what the communication will tell, we as children are told to move on and forget, as adults we are told to forgive. Yet we live our whole lives trying to forget something we will always remember and search for forgiveness in what is so unforgivable.”
It’s not about the Forgive & Forget... It is about the Accountability & Acknowledgement.
I cringe at the word ‘Molested’ when in reality I was raped, tortured and horrifyingly abused in ways, no one could ever imagine.
We are told to face reality, yet are told to forget the past.
We are told to stand up to our abusers, yet predators have equal rights.
We are told to tell someone, yet are asked where’s the proof.
We are told to speak up about our abuse, but are confined to talk behind a closed door.
We seek help, but are quickly given a medication, a diagnosis and a recovery regime.
We are told to be brave, yet we are also told to put on a brave face.
In 2021, I published part one of my memoir, ‘A Childhood Tragedy Under A Mother’s Watch: Part One 1975-1982’ A graphic, in-depth horrifyingly told detail of my childhood abuse. Not so, you know what I lived through, but what I survived through. So others know, they can also survive, despite what statistics expect of abused children and to bring awareness to my abusers other victims. My abuser was thirty-nine years old when he came into my life in 1975. Already having bundles of photos from his previous victims, a pro at his evil ways and with the safe family I never had… My childhood never stood a chance.
Part two of my memoir, ‘A Life Given To Me: Part Two 1982-2019‘ was published in June 2022 and begins where part one left off.
Hundreds upon hundreds of nude photos and film remain buried inside the cellar wall of my childhood home and though detectives found the tunnel-like hole in that cellar, the frail foundation and falling rocks made it too dangerous to get fully inside.
So now I wait, in hopes for the day when all that my birth mother allowed to be buried inside that wall comes out, so it can be documented and destroyed.
In the meantime, I will continue to shatter the silence on childhood trauma, family secrets and the monstrous predator my birth mother harbored.
I was not my abuser’s first victim, nor was I his last, but I may very well be his only surviving one.
I am not just a statistic, I am Catherine Mellen and this is my true horrifying story of strength, courage and the little girl who just wanted to live.
Forty-four years of Shame, Secrets and Silence… SHATTERED
Part One 1975-1982:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1953610161
Part Two 1982-2019:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1953610382
Understanding Childhood Trauma, Do You Understand It Now?
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CKL12YK2
Thank you for reading me and helping me to not remain a secret ♡
Your friend, Catherine
Books By Catherine Mellen 