I am an American poet, author and a wizard with words I ramble together. I stood up, I spoke up and I shattered my silence on childhood trauma, family secrets and the monstrous predator my birth mother harbored. Now I write about the pretty stuff.
Struggling to make ends meet Happens on every street Barely enough to get by Unpaid bills and funds run dry.
American Dream, where did it go? Was it a lie, for the world to know? Stress piles high, demand is too much The American Dream I just can’t touch.
Rent is due, kids need clothes Shopping for bargains is how it goes American Dream, is what I was told But rarely do I see it actually unfold.
Homeless and Mental Health Security from the Commonwealth Jobless rate and disability A loss beyond our ability.
I look out the window of the American Dream Thinking it was a lie or so it does seem American Dream, where are you now? Were you a lie we all believed in some how?
I’ll close my eyes and dream of my home An American myth, I ponder alone.
This poem can be found in my new release Only Beautiful Remains: Words of a Poet. Now available to purchase, read, review and rate ♡ Paperback~$10 Ebook~coming next week.
When pain is not physical and wounds are not visible.
Let’s talk, because I care.
One in four people suffer from some form of mental illness. A life filled of Shame, Secrets and Silence which is drowned out by talking behind a closed door with a medical professional.
A life of Depression, Loneliness and Anxiety drowned out by a medication prescribed by a medical professional.
A life of Coping and Surviving with PTSD, C-PTSD, Depression, Suicide, Anxiety, Afraid, Nervous and Anxious.
MentalHealth is Not something we talk behind closed doors about. It is Not something we silence. It is Not something we keep a secret.
It is real and it affects one in four people in any given year.
Most don’t talk about it. Most believe their loved one will be just fine. Most regret believing their loved one would be fine.
If mental illness is so common, why is it not discussed more?
Just because a person can survive, doesn’t mean they are not Still Surviving.
Freedom of speech, yet we talk behind closed doors.
Why is that?
It’s Ok if you cry, scream and talk of all your pain. It’s also OK if you do it again and again.
It’s Ok to be afraid, anxious and nervous no matter how large, medium or small you may think it is.
It’s Ok to have those horrific horrifying horrible memories and it’s Ok to cry about them as much as you need too. They were an experience that you survived. There is nothing wrong with you for remembering the bad memories.
It’s OK to know you matter and to know that suicide is not the solution. And it’s also OK to talk about it.
Your Life Matters, Your Pain Matters and You Matter.
A perfect world isn’t about how much money you carry, the profession you hold or the image you create. It’s the honesty, the comfort and the knowing you are loved. It’s being told that it is Ok to talk and to keep talking, no matter the level of your trauma. Because you are no different than the person who lived a lifetime filled with only good memories.
We all sleep under the same moon.
We all live under the same sky.
We all live on the same planet.
We are all part of the one in four people who are affected by any form of Mental Health.
But each one of us, all have our own story behind our medical term. A label we are given as we come out of the mental health disorder closet, a journey one in four people will take along the way in life.
In the meantime, society will continue to be out numbered in keeping the courageous, strong and determined from shattering their silence.
Something I will continue to do and reminding myself along the way that, ‘I Got This.’
Mental Health Awareness is not a thirty-one day challenge but rather a 365 day reality.
Keep talking about Mental Health Awareness.
Always talk, there is always someone who cares even if they are in your past, heaven or a total stranger.
It’s OK to not be OK
What is the most important thing you’ve done this year? You Survived ♡
Never suffer alone, no matter how alone you feel.
If the people you love make you feel unwanted, unworthy or unloved; then they are not your people.
If the people you love belittle, ridicule and mock your pain, your hurt and your tears; then they are not your people.
Mental Health Awareness is about the strength, the courage and the positive knowing no one should ever suffer alone again.
Mental Health Awareness should not label the survivors. It should give those who rape, murder and abuse children a label for life. A label visible for all to see.
Mental Health Awareness is about society accepting we are all equal, we all matter and we all sleep under the same moon.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month But Mental Health Awareness is a twelve month news brief, a daily breaking news of survivors.
Even if all you did today was just survived, that’s OK
Mental Health takes each one of us on a journey only we can take. Just always remember, you are never alone.
Even if you have to distance yourself to save yourself. Sometimes it is not about taking it one day at a time, but more of a one breathe at a time… and just keep breathing ❤
Thank You for reading me and my thoughts on Mental Health Awareness.
Your friend, a C-PTSD, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Childhood Trauma of Horrific Nature Survivor who is still surviving, Catherine Mellen.
Have you ever stood in a spot where you just wanted to scream out every word you wanted to say, but instead you close your mouth, walk away and scream in private until the tears run dry? It hurts, every single day it hurts, my heart, my soul and my life.
LIFE: Live It Fully Everyday. So now what, it still hurts.
I live life fully every day, I am grateful for all I have, I stop to smell those damn flowers and I know millions have it worse than me.
I cried about it, I wrote about it and I talked with a medical professional behind a closed door about it. Know why it hurts, because I am human.
Remember that time you broke your leg? I remember the time I was forcibly raped.
Remember the time you went over the handlebars of your huffy bike? I remember having my throat squeezed until I promised to keep a secret.
Remember the most memorable time of your life, now forget about it, stop talking about it and stop dwelling about it. Sounds dumb huh?
Being told to forget about a memorable time in your life, whether it is a death of a loved one, a wedding of a lifetime, an awesome sweet sixteen party or a childhood full of trauma, we don’t forget.
There are no twelve step programs, no medication and definitely no love song could ever erase good or bad memories.
I’ve come to learn we are told to move on, forgive, forget and all the bullshit which comes from having memories people don’t want to hear about, talk about or know about, because this world can be a cruel society. To make victims live as victims and have the abusers live as survivors.
To judge a person for being poor and ridicule them for being rich.
To make family secrets more valuable than a family member.
To give evil and cruel actions an excuse and to make mental health an expensive call for help.
I am so tired of being quiet because society doesn’t want to hear the reality of life. All the moving on, forgiving and forgetting gave to us was a bunch of broken adults. Accountability, Acknowledgement is my new Forgive and Forget
Gosh I have so much on my plate, my neck hurts and throbs with sharp pains every day. My vertigo is like walking in circles while sitting down. My head pounds, screams in aches, cracks and sharp bolts. What weighs the most on my heart, body and soul is the horror of my childhood. A horrifying reality in which society and family kept me silenced in.
I did all society said to do, I moved on, stopped dwelling, forgave, forgot and so on. All it did was leave me broken, a grown-up abused child, a grown up with experience in childhood trauma and family secrets.
It hurts and that is the reality of it. I am human and to disregard the horror I endured as something I should move on, forgive, forget and get over… is why it took me over thirty years to make it to my local police department. Because that’s what everyone expects us abused children to do, move on. Isn’t it time society gets a taste of its own reality? Why should we be the ones to move on, stop dwelling, forgive or forget? We are not the abuser and we are not the ones who turned away or looked away on an abused child. We were the abused child and just because we grew up, survived it and went on to live life, it doesn’t make it forgivable, forgettable or something that should be lived in silence.
Survivors don’t belong in silence and our stories will help a reality that is drowning behind the mask of society.
My abuser was allowed to continue with his monstrous ways because no one older than me stood up, spoke up or protected me from a man who wore his mask well. A mask of secrets that remains buried inside the cellar wall of my childhood home. Detectives made numerous attempts after finding the hole in the cellar wall buried behind stacks of boards and wood. But due to falling rocks and a frail foundation, getting fully inside the tunnel-like hole has proved to be difficult.
I hope no abused child ever has to grow up in silence again, because that is the cruelest thing you could do to someone you claim to love. I know this to be true, because I am a broken grown-up abused child. I never grew up to forget the childhood I spent my whole life hoping I’d forget and now I await for the day when proper authorities unearth all my birth mother allowed my abuser to bury inside that cellar wall back in 1981 and 1982.
No matter how broken you are, all your pieces are worth being heard.
Stand up, Speak up and Shatter The Silence on Childhood Trauma and Family Secrets
It’s that time again… I’m awaiting my printed-proof copy in the mail and in May (next month) Only Beautiful Remains will be available to purchase ♡
Check out the cover for Only Beautiful Remains below ⬇️
I’ve been busy doing the final edits for the 200th time on my fall 2024 release, all while dodging the Halloween poetry that keeps popping in my brain 🤣🤣
Seriously though, The Land of Peek-A-Boo was just added to my 2025 Halloween poetry book 👻
Please don’t ask, I have no idea how I made a peek-a-boo into a creepy Halloween poem. 😅
The book cover for Understanding Childhood Trauma represents the many books written related to childhood trauma and not enough understanding.
It began as an illustration for my Child Abuse Awareness poem in my poetry book Survivor’s Mind. I then published my two-part memoir.
It wasn’t long until I reached out to my illustrator and questioned if she could take her illustration from my poetry book and make it into a book cover for Understanding Childhood Trauma. The image on the newspaper is the cover to Survivor’s Mind ♡
Understanding Childhood Trauma is now in round 2 of the AllAuthor Book Cover Contest. Now, have you voted for my book cover yet? ♡
Books By Catherine Mellen 